See How ‘Hug, Smiles, Little Gift, Others’ May Affect Your Relationship

Faith Anekwe –

There are a lot of factors that affect relationship at different stages. These factors have affected, and are still affecting our interactions with orhers; causing heartbreak and broken marriages.

Below are some of the factors:

(1) Low Self Esteem: This is mostly common in women. It happens when a woman does not know her worth. The woman feels the man is doing her good by dating her making it impossible for her to take decisions and stand by it. She is like a wheelbarrow whose the owner decides its direction. She can’t disagree with her boyfriend on some issues, even when it affects her badly because she is scared of losing her man. Ahe feels her whole life is dependent solely on her man. This kind of woman has totally lost her worth.

Without appreciation, she does a lot for the man yet feels okay with it. A woman who has lost her self-esteem looks down on herself.

This makes her man treat her with  disregard. It goes with the saying that “A woman’s place is in the kitchen” anytime she visits her boyfriend she will be playing the role of a wife when he hasn’t paid 1 kobo on her head.

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I don’t mean that a woman shouldn’t help her boyfriend but there should be a limit.

Most times, men dump some women with low self esteem and people wonder why he dumped her after all she did for him.

No man will want to marry a woman with such low self esteem because she can’t be a wife but a puppet to the man.

(2) Being Domineering /Bossy: Domineering means trying to control other people without considering their opinions or feelings.

This is common with men, when a man doesn’t seek the consent of his girlfriend or consider how she will feel or react before doing something. Some men take advantage of the fact that they are quite older than their women or because she is the quiet and calm type.

Men can be domineering when it has to do with sex. They don’t care if the woman is in the mood, or she is in her period, all they want is sex. They can also be domineering when it has to do with helping the woman. They feel like they have the right to decide whether to help or not to, especially in the financial aspect.

This act of domineering in men hurts women and reduces their love and respect for their men. Women are  emotionsl as they place value on little things in relationship. Things that do not matter to the men matter a lot to women.

They value the word, “I love you”, they value a peck on the forehead, a hug, a smile, a little parcel of gift and attention. Most men over look these little things. Overlooking these little things can make a woman wake up one day and end the relationship, because of what she ever wanted and what she cherishes so much is not what is given to her.

(3) Being Too Demanding: This means expecting a lot of work or attention from the others; not easily satisfied. This is common with both men and women.

A man or woman that is very demanding finds it very difficult to build a lasting relationship. There are people that can never be pleased with whatever their partner did for them.

Sometimes, women who are dating very demanding men try to continue with the relationship with the notion that he is the man and the head, I beg you to take your leave, people who are very demanding are never satisfied and are not grateful.

Some women who are very demanding has brought a lot of problem on their men because they will demand money for a lot of things even when they know that their men are not financially capable. Some will threaten to end the relationship if their needs are not met.

In a bid to meet their numerous needs, the men engage themselves In all kinds of crime that can put their own lives in danger.

Over demanding can only ruin beautiful relationships and have nothing to add to the relationship. The best way to deal with demanding partners is to walk away from the relationship.

(4) Life Of Pretence: Life of Pretence is the greatest and worst canker worm that has eaten deep into the fabric of lots of relationships, especially on the part of the women. it takes a mature and observant mind to differentiate between a real life and a life of pretence. Being oneself will do a person more good than harm.

A lot of women feel that pretending to be who they are not will guarantee a happy relationship and marriage. Some women might have had children before meeting a man but will pretend to have had none. Some are not virgins but will pretend to b. Some are from poor homes but will pretend to be from rich homes.

Same goes to the men, who pretend to be rich and working in an oil company but they are road side mechanics. This can only mar a relationship. The earlier men and women drop the life of pretence, the better for everyone.

(5) Comparing your partner with others:
Humans are different in kinds – characters, size, shape, height, colour and destiny.

This makes them different from others. They are unique in their own different ways, even identical twins have different characters that distinguishes one from the other.

This is the reason why a man or woman shouldn’t compare his or her partner with others, not even their own twin.
When they truly love each other, they should be able to accept each other the way they are, both physicallyand otherwise.

Comparison destroys relationships because it will make the partner who is being compared with someone else feel inferior and this can lead to depression and lots of problem in the relationship.

(6) Letting Your Heart Rule Your Head
A lot of persons in relationships Especially women let their hearts rule their heads, this means toact according to what your heart feel rather than what you think is sensible, a lot of women are ready to do anything for a man, they can spend their last kobo all because they love a man, even when the doesn’t act like someone who love them .

Even when some family and friends try to caution them, they will not listen, when they eventually get hurt by these men, they will feel like the whole world is crumpling, because they let their hearts rule their heads, they didn’t use their heads and the men has decided to use the heads for them.

In order to avoid all the above distractors, people should know if any of these factors is part of them or that of their partner and work on it to avoid broken relationships.